CULTIVATE CONNECTION THIS HOLIDAY SEASON
by Dr. Shae Robinson-Mosley
The holiday season can be hard.
For many people, the holidays highlight what’s missing and shines a light on the places where we feel lonely or unsupported.
And while this time of year is neatly wrapped in messages about joy and togetherness, many of us are quietly navigating sadness and solitude. That’s why understanding social support - and how to strengthen it - matters now more than ever.
IDENTIFY AND STRENGTHEN YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT MUSCLES
Social support comes in many forms:
EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT
Comfort
Psychological safety
Companionship
INFORMATIONAL SUPPORT
Guidance
Advice
Direction
ESTEEM
SUPPORT
Confidence boosts
Encouragement
Validation
TANGIBLE
SUPPORT
Material goods
Financial resources
Assistance
If we’re lucky,
we have people who meet most - if not all - of these social support needs.
Some of us “piece-meal” our support system, getting different needs met by different people.
And some of us? Well… we’re getting very few (if any) of these needs met.
One thing I’ve learned:
you have to figure out which people in your life can meet which needs.
You may not have one person who fills your whole social cup, but you might get a drop here and a splash there.
And listen—a half-full cup is better than an empty one.
ways to identify and strengthen your social support
1. Ask yourself what you need.
Do you need emotional comfort? Practical help? Advice?
Or just someone who will wander around Target with you for no reason at all?
2. Inventory your current relationships.
Who are your people?
How do they make you feel?
Can you safely ask them for what you need?
Reach out to the folks you trust.
Nurture your “weak ties”—those acquaintances or casual connections who already show up for you in small ways. Deepen the relationships that feel reliable.
3. Cast a wider net.
Join groups, classes, or communities built around your interests:
A local sports league
A fitness or yoga class
A hiking group or run club
A photography, pottery, or language class
A volunteer opportunity (animal shelters are a great start — fostering counts!)
New environments create new connections.
4. Connect with a therapist.
Therapy can offer emotional support, appraisal support, and a dedicated space to process what you’re carrying.
5. Try friendship matchmaking.
Services like Real Roots can help you find people who share your vibe, values, and interests. And before you ask—no, this isn’t “buying friends.” It’s investing in your own community building.
6. Be aggressive, be be aggressive
(or just… mildly assertive).
Make the first friendship move.
That coworker you’ve been wanting to get to know? Ask them to lunch or bring them a latte and stay for morning chits and chats.
That interesting neighbor you always chat with when you pass their house? Invite them (and their dog) for a stroll.
A little socially rusty? Try these conversation starters.
7. Be open.
Emotional intimacy requires vulnerability. You don’t have to spill your whole life story, but sharing small challenges and wins builds trust.
8. Listen!
Give your full attention. Be present. Make yourself available.
9. Consistency is key.
Relationships take effort - especially when you have competing priorities - like when life is life-ing.
Show up. Check in. Send the text. Make the call (yes, call - it can be short!).
Consistency signals care, and care builds connection.
Remember:
Give yourself grace - the holidays are hard.
Relationships won’t magically appear, but you can build connection, one brave baby step at a time.
If cultivating connection sounds like something you could use some practice with, download The Playbook App and set up your Home Team (trusted friends, family, and mentors with whom you feel safe).
TRY THE PLAYBOOK APP
FOR FREE
Download The Playbook for iOS from the App Store
Tap Practice Solo to get started.